
Over 260 Jokes from kids just like you below!!!
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June 2022
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel…that’s why I knocked!
A snow house without a loo!
Who’s there?
Says.
Says who?
Says me!
Sneakers
Buzz cuts!
So he could get to wear a uni-form!
She kept running away from the ball.
Your nose will touch the ceiling.
Because they’re so good at it!
Because he’d look silly in a red plastic raincoat!
The milky baa kid
To show he wasn’t chicken
Doug. And Phil!
he NAILED it!
A candle!
So it could get brighter
She Milky Way
A movie star!
COMET books!
The SPACE-bar!
With Star Bucks!
In a meteor shower!
The comet-y channel
so she could visit the milky way.
He needed some space
May 2022
He was the teachers pet!
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Mother’s Day!
It always listened to it’s Motherboard!
He wanted to see a butter…fly!
Because PEPPER water would make them sneeze!’
A labracadabrador
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock-knock jokes
Little old lady?
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!
With a tuba (tube of) glue!
He was playing by ear!
To reach the high notes!
A head band!
A Moooo-sician
Pop music!What kind of music to Egyptian mummies like?
Rap musicWhat kind of music do rabbits like?
Hip Hop
nep-tunes
Ba-na-na-naaaaaa
April 2022
A FIZZ-acist!
Ready. TEDDY. Go!
A bee flying backwards!
Because it saw the milkshake
Because you can’t pull its leg
Patty.
A plain bagel!
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
A receding HARE-line!
One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
HOP-tamus Prime!
You get a bunny RIBBET
Time to get a new bed!
Bubble 07
A naughty fridge
March 2022
Anna One, Anna Two…
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
AL-paca suitcase. YOU see what time the train leaves
Training. Lots of train-ing.
Its tricera-bottom.
On the bottom.
Because they never do it on porpoise! (Get it? Porpoise is another name for dolphin. They never do it on purpose – they never do it on porpoise!
What does a sea monster eat?Fish and Ships!
What does a shark like to eat?
Peanut butter and jelly fish sandwiches!
And what does every picnic at the beach have?
Sandwiches!
man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs.
The doctors say he’s recovering, and he’ll be out in the Spring.
A thesaurus!
A penguin rolling down a hill!
The guy behind the counter says, ‘sorry, we’ve only got PLANE!’
A compro-MICE.
A MARS bar…
Because they’ve got loose elastic!
A hare in your milk!
Squash!
A palm tree of course!
A wooly jumper
February 2022
BAT-man!
Because her COACH…was a pumpkin.
A blast from the past!!
Because the bird was looking for a bush where she can build her nest and lay her eggs.
Act like a nut!
Purrrr-ple!
Because it’s days are numbered!
Because he wanted to go to the…. moooooooooooooovies
A post office!
Nobody Knows
It waves.
It was otterly amazing!
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
January 2022
To watch time fly!
A man sitting on a donkey!
The tiger has the MANE part missing.
Monkey Boogers
Tap dancing
Their gnomework!
MICE-cream…
A Bull-dozer!
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
A windscreen VIPER!
The OUTside!
Christmas 2021
A Pony Sleigh Station!
Looks like rein, deer!
A boa constructor!
They just Arrrrrrggggghhhh
December 2021
Achoo! Wa-wa!
A wolf in sheeps clothing
A boa constructor!
The doctors say he’s recovering, and he’ll be out in the Spring.
Chimp-pantsies!
Who’s there?
Isobel.
Isobel who?
Is a bell not working?
MICE-cream…
A Bull-dozer!
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
A windscreen VIPER!
The OUTside!
November 2021
A Rocket CHIP!
Zoom…Baa!
Baaaaa-naaaaa-naaaaas!
It goes SQWARK SQWARK – a carrot is orange and sounds like a parrot. Carrot – parrot, get it?
Because her students were so bright!
Finding HALF a worm!
It was a cat-astrophe.
He took a SHORT-CUT!
Ants!
Well, how does one beach say hello to another beach?
With a sandshake
When does a hippopotamus go ‘mooooo’?
When it’s learning a new language!
Do you want to hear the secret joke about peanut butter?
Can’t tell you. You might SPREAD it.
It had a sore throat and it was a… little horse!!!
A sandwich!
October 2021
The rulers
Time to get a new washing line!
Of course not – because houses can’t jump!
You put a little boogie in it.
NRG
To get to the UDDER side
You’d have massive hands
The River Bank
Put it on my BILL!
The cow who jumped over the moon
With scare-spray
The boogeyman.
A boo-boo!
September 2021
A stick
Because it’s TWO-TIRED
tomato shouted to her kids behind her CATCH UP’! (Ketchup)
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo WHO?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
They’re both red… except for the elephant!
A heli-copper!
Stop bugging me!
A Screen Saver
Go to the corner — it’s always 45 degrees!
The rulers
Time to get a new washing line!
August 2021
Hip hop
A shark eating a jam donut
time to get a new couch
Its bark!
A Sand-wich!
You planet! (Plan It)
You park your car, man
You rocket!
The library has the most STORIES
The FUTURE!
A Sand-wich!
She was frightened, it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her.
So to scare off the critter.
She sat up in bed and meowed!
July 2021
To see his POP
Anything you like. He can’t hear you
The waiter said “No sir, it will be round like everybody else’s”
time to get a new couch
Because it saw the milk-shake
“Waiter, waiter there’s a fly in my soup!”
And the waiter said: “Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it”
A shark eating a jam donut
June 2021
A Kookaburra
He was feeling peckish!
It was looking for bread!
Button Mushrooms!
It wooden go!
And, what happened to the steel car with the steel wheel’s and the steel motor?
It steel wouldn’t go!
Once smiled as he rode on a lion. They came back from the ride. But with Brian
inside. And the smile on the face of the lion!
his shoe. He woke up in fright. In the mid of the night. To learn that his dream
has come true!
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
R 2 detour
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
April 2021
Hot Cross Bunnies
Eggs-ercise
In the hencyclopedia.
To get to the otherside
Well, why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
She was already across the street.
Because he had the drumsticks!
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
You’re pointless.
A panda rolling down a hill!
March 2021
Leeks!
Who’s there?
Cows
Cows who?
Cows go moo not who!
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Because he had the drumsticks
She was already across the street
To get to the otherside
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
Because they’re TWO-TYRED (tired)
She always ran away from the ball
She kept kicking off her shoe
February 2021
Who’s there
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
A WALK!
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Bark
Bear feet!
A hot… dog
Because he was a little horse!
The one that feels the sheepiest
Because you can’t pull its leg.
Its oinkels!
December 2020
The MIAOW- seum
Who’s there?
Wooden
Wooden who?
Wooden you like to know!
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
Hey, what are you so happy about?
Bear feet (bare feet)
A head-banger
A water fight!
Because he didn’t have any patients (patience)
December Xmas 2020
Santa! Walking backwards.
It depends where he leaves them!
Wrap music
He has a black belt!
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
(singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree
Ele-phanta Claus
Who’s there?
Ahhh… Wayne.
Ahhh…Wayne who?
(singing)Ahhh… WAYNE in a Manger… no-o crib for a bed…
Only one – after that it’s not empty any more!
The use the ELFator
A broken drum. Because you just can’t BEAT… a broken drum.
SANDY claws!
Tinselitus
The Christmas alphabet has no ‘L’…
(singing) No-el, no-o-el…no-o el, no-el…
Jungle bells
Santa-pplause!
Santa's Reindeer Quizl bait)
1. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the fastest?
Dasher.
2. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can be seen on Valentines day?
Cupid.
3. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can you see in outer space?
Comet.
4. Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dan
5. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the cheekiest?
Rude-olf
6. Which one of Santa’s reindeer likes Mediterranian food?
Donner (Doner Kebab)
7. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is not very good for snails, in NZ?
Blitzen (Blitzem sna
Write your answers down and type them into the form that open from here
November 2020
FLY-day
Because bananas can’t walk.
Scone
He wanted to catch starfish!
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
What are you so happy about?
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio-not, here I come!
A Hotdog!
didn’t believe him… but you should have seen her face when he drove PASTA (past her)
Halloween Jokes
I scream and boo berry pie
Waiter: Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it!
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him!
“I love every bone in your body!”
The boogie man!
Trick or TWEET!
I SCREAM!
Because he had BAT breath
October 2020
Stinker bell!
When they’re going cheep! (Cheap!)
They SHELL-abrate!
Because he’d rather just stay at C! (Sea!)
A naughty fridge.
What is big, red and sits in a corner?
A naughty bus!
On the school BUZZ!
A wanna-bee!
They’re cute and small and fuzzy!
Who’s there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you
September 2020
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Your teeth
Bear feet
T.V.
A flat mate.
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
POP music!
When it is learning a new language!
Time to get a new bed!
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
One. Two FLEA. Go!
Tweet bix
August 2020
The Mooooovies
A bagel.
When it’s a PINE-apple
PUP-eroni!
Bear feet
Give us a squeeze!
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
Ten-tickles!
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!
July 2020
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
Because her class was so bright!
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.
June 2020
A PLAIN-bow!
He wanted to go to the mooooon
Nacho cheese
A milkshake
FLY-day
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
I LAVA you.
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!
April 2020
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
A mon-key!
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
A may-beee.
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
March 2020
The same middle name!
Chewsday
Puss-ups!
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
The Frog’s car got toad
They quack up.
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
They eat whatever bugs them!
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
Knee-deep Knee-deep
February 2020
Laurene
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t “chicken”!
Massey
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cos another chicken was “egging” him on
Karl
What room doesn’t have any doors? I don’t know Trevor – what room doesn’t have any doors?
A mushroom!
Matthew
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back!
Ebony
What should you do if someone stamps their foot?
Put an envelope on the floor so they can stamp that
January 2020
One tomato was walking through a field when all of a sudden she saw another tomato.
She asked the tomato “Have you seen the rainbow”.
The other tomato said “What??? A talking tomato, arrrrggghhh!”
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
An impasta!
At the hickory dickory dock.
So they can fight knights!
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep
December 2019
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
A Mon-KEY!
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Thunderwear!
To cover their butt-quacks!
The outside!
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Your neigh-bour!
A stick!!
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
In a whale weigh station.
The rollerghoster
A unicorn
A dino-sour
C (Sea)
Invergargle!
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Hip hop
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Lookout!
A WALK!!!
You look the same as me, ow
High tech
Because 789!
Lots of blood tests.
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)