Over 260 Jokes from kids just like you below!!!
Send us your favourite joke and see if you can make the zebra laugh even harder!
(Check that your joke isn’t on the page already – if it is, find another one to share)
April 2022
Bella
What kind of scientist puts bubbles in lemonade?
A FIZZ-acist!
A FIZZ-acist!
Seb
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready. TEDDY. Go!
Ready. TEDDY. Go!
Asher
What goes zzzzzub, zzzzub?
A bee flying backwards!
A bee flying backwards!
Levi
Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milkshake
Because it saw the milkshake
Carla
Why can you never play a trick on a snake?
Because you can’t pull its leg
Because you can’t pull its leg
Marco
What do you call the daughter of a hamburger?
Patty.
Patty.
Phillipe
What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A plain bagel!
A plain bagel!
Anna
What is the Easter bunny’s favourite saying?
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Jordan
What do you call a line of bunnies hopping backwards?
A receding HARE-line!
A receding HARE-line!
Tai
What’s the difference between a heathy bunny and a clown bunny?
One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
One is a fit bunny, and the other’s a bit funny!
Handrix
What do you call a transformer bunny?
HOP-tamus Prime!
HOP-tamus Prime!
Clancy Family
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a frog?
You get a bunny RIBBET
You get a bunny RIBBET
Matai
What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!
Time to get a new bed!
Levi
He asks What do you call a secret agent that lives in a detergent bottle?
Bubble 07
Bubble 07
Rebecca
What is white and sits in a corner?
A naughty fridge
A naughty fridge
March 2022
Deon
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna One, Anna Two…
Anna One, Anna Two…
Thea
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
AL-paca suitcase. YOU see what time the train leaves
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
AL-paca suitcase. YOU see what time the train leaves
Emile
How did Thomas the Tank Engine get so good at his job?
Training. Lots of train-ing.
Training. Lots of train-ing.
Tanja
What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom.
Its tricera-bottom.
Tyson
Where is the ocean the deepest?
On the bottom.
On the bottom.
Becca
Why should you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong?
Because they never do it on porpoise! (Get it? Porpoise is another name for dolphin. They never do it on purpose – they never do it on porpoise!
Because they never do it on porpoise! (Get it? Porpoise is another name for dolphin. They never do it on purpose – they never do it on porpoise!
Raul
What does a sea monster eat?Fish and Ships!
What does a shark like to eat?
Peanut butter and jelly fish sandwiches!
And what does every picnic at the beach have?
Sandwiches!
man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs.
The doctors say he’s recovering, and he’ll be out in the Spring.
Ben
What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?
A thesaurus!
A thesaurus!
Freya!
What goes (getting faster & faster) Black. White. Black-white. Black-white-black-
A penguin rolling down a hill!
A penguin rolling down a hill!
Jordie
A boy walks into a diary and asks for a pack of HELICOPTER flavoured chips.
The guy behind the counter says, ‘sorry, we’ve only got PLANE!’
The guy behind the counter says, ‘sorry, we’ve only got PLANE!’
Arie
What do you call it when two mice share a piece of cheese.
A compro-MICE.
A compro-MICE.
Abergail
What’s an astronaut’s favourite chocolate?
A MARS bar…
A MARS bar…
Bethany
My dad calls his old track pants Lucy.
Because they’ve got loose elastic!
Because they’ve got loose elastic!
Nathan
What do you get if you cross a cow with a rabbit?
A hare in your milk!
A hare in your milk!
Emery
What game do you think an elephant plays in a phone box?
Squash!
Squash!
Sacha
What kind of tree can sit on your hand?
A palm tree of course!
A palm tree of course!
Aemlia
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A wooly jumper
A wooly jumper
February 2022
Tammy
Which superhero is the best at cricket?’
BAT-man!
BAT-man!
Olive
Why wasn’t Cinderella a good runner?
Because her COACH…was a pumpkin.
Because her COACH…was a pumpkin.
Charlie
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!!
A blast from the past!!
Rapture
Why did the bird cross the park and the playground.
Because the bird was looking for a bush where she can build her nest and lay her eggs.
Because the bird was looking for a bush where she can build her nest and lay her eggs.
Eliza
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!
Act like a nut!
Ella
what’s a kitten’s favourite colour?
Purrrr-ple!
Purrrr-ple!
Zac
Why won’t the calendar last long
Because it’s days are numbered!
Because it’s days are numbered!
Jaan
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the…. moooooooooooooovies
Because he wanted to go to the…. moooooooooooooovies
Patrick
What begins with a P and ends with a E and has a whole heap of letter in it?
A post office!
A post office!
Elliot
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody Knows
Nobody Knows
Krista
How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
It waves.
Ahmid
Didi you here about the Otter, Jin, that made a Great Escape?
It was otterly amazing!
It was otterly amazing!
Stevie
Why did the tiger lose every game of cards?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
January 2022
Eli
Why would you throw your watch out the window?
To watch time fly!
To watch time fly!
George
What has six legs, four eyes, two heads and a tail?
A man sitting on a donkey!
A man sitting on a donkey!
Emerson
What’s the difference between a tiger and a lion?
The tiger has the MANE part missing.
The tiger has the MANE part missing.
Anahera
What’s gooey, yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey Boogers
Monkey Boogers
Arama
What do you call dancing by the sink
Tap dancing
Tap dancing
Jeremy
What does a garden gnome do each day after school.
Their gnomework!
Their gnomework!
Art
What do kittens like to eat?
MICE-cream…
MICE-cream…
Bodhi
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A Bull-dozer!
A Bull-dozer!
Elijah
What do you call a goose that’s a giant!
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Tavita
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
Leon
hat kind of snake would you find on a car?
A windscreen VIPER!
A windscreen VIPER!
Archie
Which side of a goose has the most feathers?
The OUTside!
The OUTside!
Christmas 2021
Olive
What present does a reindeer want for Christmas?
A Pony Sleigh Station!
A Pony Sleigh Station!
Pryia
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up in the sky?
Looks like rein, deer!
Looks like rein, deer!
Noah
What do you call a snake on a building site?’
A boa constructor!
A boa constructor!
Trevor
Why are pirates good to have join you on Christmas Day.
They just Arrrrrrggggghhhh
They just Arrrrrrggggghhhh
December 2021
Roco
What do you call a small dog that sneezes a lot?
Achoo! Wa-wa!
Achoo! Wa-wa!
Jacob
His joke is what goes baaa baaaa, hooooooowl?
A wolf in sheeps clothing
A wolf in sheeps clothing
Noah
What do you call a snake on a building site?’
A boa constructor!
A boa constructor!
Sia
A man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs.
The doctors say he’s recovering, and he’ll be out in the Spring.
The doctors say he’s recovering, and he’ll be out in the Spring.
Eddie
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimp-pantsies!
Chimp-pantsies!
Harlyn
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Isobel.
Isobel who?
Is a bell not working?
Who’s there?
Isobel.
Isobel who?
Is a bell not working?
Art
What do kittens like to eat?
MICE-cream…
MICE-cream…
Bodhi
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A Bull-dozer!
A Bull-dozer!
Elijah
What do you call a goose that’s a giant!
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Hu-mung-GOOSE
Tavita
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
you’re welcome!
Leon
hat kind of snake would you find on a car?
A windscreen VIPER!
A windscreen VIPER!
Archie
Which side of a goose has the most feathers?
The OUTside!
The OUTside!
November 2021
Teegan
What’s fast, loud and crunchy?
A Rocket CHIP!
A Rocket CHIP!
Felix
What exercise do sheep do every day to stay fit?
Zoom…Baa!
Zoom…Baa!
Nate
What fruit do sheep like?
Baaaaa-naaaaa-naaaaas!
Baaaaa-naaaaa-naaaaas!
Ashleigh
What sound does a carrot make?
It goes SQWARK SQWARK – a carrot is orange and sounds like a parrot. Carrot – parrot, get it?
It goes SQWARK SQWARK – a carrot is orange and sounds like a parrot. Carrot – parrot, get it?
Rawiri
Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Because her students were so bright!
Kara
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding HALF a worm!
Finding HALF a worm!
Malachi
Did you hear about the cat that tried cooking?
It was a cat-astrophe.
It was a cat-astrophe.
Lexi
How did the barber win the running race?
He took a SHORT-CUT!
He took a SHORT-CUT!
Francis
Who always comes to a picnic but is never ever invited?
Ants!
Ants!
Sabina
You know how the sea says hello to the beach? It waves!
Well, how does one beach say hello to another beach?
With a sandshake
Well, how does one beach say hello to another beach?
With a sandshake
Ella
When does a hippopotamus go ‘mooooo’?
When it’s learning a new language!
Do you want to hear the secret joke about peanut butter?
Can’t tell you. You might SPREAD it.
Luka
Why couldn’t the pony neigh as loudly as the horses?
It had a sore throat and it was a… little horse!!!
It had a sore throat and it was a… little horse!!!
Jessica & Craig
What’s the best thing to take to a picnic at the beach?
A sandwich!
A sandwich!
October 2021
Maia
Who’s in charge of the school during the holidays
The rulers
The rulers
Rebecca
What time is it when a hippopotamus swings around on your washing line?
Time to get a new washing line!
Time to get a new washing line!
Riyansh
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course not – because houses can’t jump!
Of course not – because houses can’t jump!
Harpa
How do you make a tissue dance…?
You put a little boogie in it.
You put a little boogie in it.
Trevor
Which 3 letters of the alphabet make everything in the world move?
NRG
NRG
Lily
Why did the cow cross the road?’
To get to the UDDER side
To get to the UDDER side
May
If you had 5 potatoes in one hand and 5 kumara in the other hand what would you have?’
You’d have massive hands
You’d have massive hands
Ella
Where do trout keep their money?
The River Bank
The River Bank
Fleur
What did the duck say after she bought some lipstick?
Put it on my BILL!
Put it on my BILL!
Carter
Do you know what the first animal was in space?
The cow who jumped over the moon
The cow who jumped over the moon
Nerida
How does a witch style her hair?
With scare-spray
With scare-spray
Graham
What kind of monster likes to dance?
The boogeyman.
The boogeyman.
Martin
What kind of mistake does a ghost make?
A boo-boo!
A boo-boo!
September 2021
Maebh Lambarth
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick
A stick
Gabriel
Why can’t a bike stand up on its own?
Because it’s TWO-TIRED
Because it’s TWO-TIRED
Esther
A tomato mum crossed the road with her children. A fast car was approaching. Mum
tomato shouted to her kids behind her CATCH UP’! (Ketchup)
tomato shouted to her kids behind her CATCH UP’! (Ketchup)
Samantha
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo WHO?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo WHO?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Jimmy
What do a fire truck and an elephant have in common?
They’re both red… except for the elephant!
They’re both red… except for the elephant!
Clementine
What do you call a flying policeman?
A heli-copper!
A heli-copper!
Angus
What did Iron Man say to Ant man?
Stop bugging me!
Stop bugging me!
Archie
What do you call a super hero for computers?
A Screen Saver
A Screen Saver
Willow
How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner — it’s always 45 degrees!
Go to the corner — it’s always 45 degrees!
Miah
Who’s in charge of the school during the holidays
The rulers
The rulers
Rebecca
What time is it when a hippopotamus swings around on your washing line?
Time to get a new washing line!
Time to get a new washing line!
August 2021
Sasha
What is a kangaroos favourite Music?
Hip hop
Hip hop
Billy
What’s grey, dangerous and squirts jam at you?
A shark eating a jam donut
A shark eating a jam donut
Jax
Who asks what time is it when an elephant sits on your couch?
time to get a new couch
time to get a new couch
Nadia
What makes a tree noisy?
Its bark!
Its bark!
Jimmy
What kind of lunch do you eat at the beach?
A Sand-wich!
A Sand-wich!
Henry
How do you have a party in space?
You planet! (Plan It)
You planet! (Plan It)
Travis
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
You park your car, man
You park your car, man
Saskia
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
You rocket!
Nolan
What New Zealand building has the most storeys?
The library has the most STORIES
The library has the most STORIES
Kiara
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen…?
The FUTURE!
The FUTURE!
Elijah’s limeric
What kind of lunch do you eat at the beach?
A Sand-wich!
A Sand-wich!
Henry
A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd.
She was frightened, it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her.
So to scare off the critter.
She sat up in bed and meowed!
She was frightened, it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her.
So to scare off the critter.
She sat up in bed and meowed!
July 2021
Olive
Why did the bubble cross the road?
To see his POP
To see his POP
Ezra
What do you call a monkey with bananas in his ears?
Anything you like. He can’t hear you
Anything you like. He can’t hear you
Dannica
Did you hear the one about the customer asking the waiter “Waiter, will my hamburger be long?”
The waiter said “No sir, it will be round like everybody else’s”
The waiter said “No sir, it will be round like everybody else’s”
Melody
Who asks what time is it when an elephant sits on your couch?
time to get a new couch
time to get a new couch
Justin
Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk-shake
Because it saw the milk-shake
Gabriella
Did you hear about the person dinning at the restaurant who said…
“Waiter, waiter there’s a fly in my soup!”
And the waiter said: “Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it”
“Waiter, waiter there’s a fly in my soup!”
And the waiter said: “Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it”
Elliot
What’s grey, dangerous and squirts jam at you?
A shark eating a jam donut
A shark eating a jam donut
June 2021
Nichola
What kind of bird can cook?
A Kookaburra
A Kookaburra
Mathias
Why did the woodworm ask for a table for one?
He was feeling peckish!
He was feeling peckish!
Rapture
Why did the duck cross the road?
It was looking for bread!
It was looking for bread!
Helen
What vegetables go best with Jacket Potatoes?
Button Mushrooms!
Button Mushrooms!
.
What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden motor?
It wooden go!
And, what happened to the steel car with the steel wheel’s and the steel motor?
It steel wouldn’t go!
It wooden go!
And, what happened to the steel car with the steel wheel’s and the steel motor?
It steel wouldn’t go!
Logan’s Limerick
A circus performer named Brian.
Once smiled as he rode on a lion. They came back from the ride. But with Brian
inside. And the smile on the face of the lion!
Once smiled as he rode on a lion. They came back from the ride. But with Brian
inside. And the smile on the face of the lion!
Limar’s Limerick
There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamt that he swallowed
his shoe. He woke up in fright. In the mid of the night. To learn that his dream
has come true!
his shoe. He woke up in fright. In the mid of the night. To learn that his dream
has come true!
Flo
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
MacKenzie
What do you call a star wars droid who takes the long way home?
R 2 detour
R 2 detour
.
Kitt says Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
April 2021
Lachie
What do you get if you pour very warm water down a rabbit hole?
Hot Cross Bunnies
Hot Cross Bunnies
Tilly
How does the Easter Bunny keep fit?
Eggs-ercise
Eggs-ercise
Ethan
Where can you find the most information about eggs?
In the hencyclopedia.
In the hencyclopedia.
.
Anony Mous 🙂
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the otherside
Well, why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
To get to the otherside
Well, why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Archie
Why did the chicken go up the stairs?
She was already across the street.
She was already across the street.
Lisbeth
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
Because he had the drumsticks!
Elliot
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Jess
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
You’re pointless.
Cody
What goes black. white. black, white, black-white-black-white?
A panda rolling down a hill!
A panda rolling down a hill!
March 2021
Paul
What vegtables should you never bring on the boat?
Leeks!
Leeks!
Daisy
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Cows
Cows who?
Cows go moo not who!
Who’s there?
Cows
Cows who?
Cows go moo not who!
Elliot
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Lisbeth
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks
Because he had the drumsticks
Archie
Why did the chicken go up the stairs?
She was already across the street
She was already across the street
ANONYMOUS
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the otherside
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot
To get to the otherside
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot
Dene
Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
Jed
Why do bikes fall over?
Because they’re TWO-TYRED (tired)
Because they’re TWO-TYRED (tired)
Tarquin
Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at football?
She always ran away from the ball
She always ran away from the ball
Loretta
Why couldn’t Cinderalla join a tap dance class?
She kept kicking off her shoe
She kept kicking off her shoe
February 2021
Brooke
Knock knock
Who’s there
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Who’s there
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Greysona
what do you call a fly with no wings?
A WALK!
A WALK!
Olivia
What did the happy rabbit say to the sad rabbit?
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Hamish and Cameron
What do trees and dogs have in common?
Bark
Bark
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet!
Bear feet!
Martin
What do you call a dog with a fever?
A hot… dog
A hot… dog
Bianca
Why couldn’t the animal talk?
Because he was a little horse!
Because he was a little horse!
Monica
Which animal is the shyest?
The one that feels the sheepiest
The one that feels the sheepiest
Tom
Why can you never play a trick on a snake?
Because you can’t pull its leg.
Because you can’t pull its leg.
Rebecca
What’s below a pigs knees?
Its oinkels!
Its oinkels!
December 2020
Tyrone
Where do cats go on a school trip?
The MIAOW- seum
The MIAOW- seum
William
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wooden
Wooden who?
Wooden you like to know!
Who’s there?
Wooden
Wooden who?
Wooden you like to know!
Amanda
Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
Hey, what are you so happy about?
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
Hey, what are you so happy about?
Sanjay
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet (bare feet)
Bear feet (bare feet)
Tania
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A head-banger
A head-banger
Chris
What kind of fight do sumo wrestles have under the sea?
A water fight!
A water fight!
Pranjal
Why was the doctor so angry?
Because he didn’t have any patients (patience)
Because he didn’t have any patients (patience)
December Xmas 2020
Christina
Who says’ Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh at Christmas time?
Santa! Walking backwards.
Santa! Walking backwards.
Nakita
Where does Santa find his reindeer?
It depends where he leaves them!
It depends where he leaves them!
Carlton and Ralph
What kind of music does Santa’s elves like?
Wrap music
Wrap music
Venetia
How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
He has a black belt!
He has a black belt!
Leeze
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
(singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
(singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree
Jazz
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Ele-phanta Claus
Ele-phanta Claus
Aroha
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ahhh… Wayne.
Ahhh…Wayne who?
(singing)Ahhh… WAYNE in a Manger… no-o crib for a bed…
Who’s there?
Ahhh… Wayne.
Ahhh…Wayne who?
(singing)Ahhh… WAYNE in a Manger… no-o crib for a bed…
Jemma
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one – after that it’s not empty any more!
Only one – after that it’s not empty any more!
Carter
How do elves get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?
The use the ELFator
The use the ELFator
Tipene
What’s the best Christmas present of all?
A broken drum. Because you just can’t BEAT… a broken drum.
A broken drum. Because you just can’t BEAT… a broken drum.
Emile
What do you call Santa’s Cat at the Beach?
SANDY claws!
SANDY claws!
Ollie
What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus
Tinselitus
Jess
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has no ‘L’…
(singing) No-el, no-o-el…no-o el, no-el…
The Christmas alphabet has no ‘L’…
(singing) No-el, no-o-el…no-o el, no-el…
Rhaya
What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells
Jungle bells
Alex
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santa-pplause!
Santa-pplause!
Santa's Reindeer Quizl bait)
1. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the fastest?
Dasher.
2. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can be seen on Valentines day?
Cupid.
3. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can you see in outer space?
Comet.
4. Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dan
5. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the cheekiest?
Rude-olf
6. Which one of Santa’s reindeer likes Mediterranian food?
Donner (Doner Kebab)
7. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is not very good for snails, in NZ?
Blitzen (Blitzem sna
Write your answers down and type them into the form that open from here
November 2020
Oscar
What’s a spider’s favourite day?
FLY-day
FLY-day
Lauren
Why do monkeys carry bananas?
Because bananas can’t walk.
Because bananas can’t walk.
Hannah
What’s the fastest food in the world?
Scone
Scone
Lily
why did the boy go fishing on the moon?
He wanted to catch starfish!
He wanted to catch starfish!
Amanda
Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
What are you so happy about?
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
What are you so happy about?
Blake
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio-not, here I come!
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio-not, here I come!
Savannah
What do you call a wolf lying in the sun?
A Hotdog!
A Hotdog!
Kingston
There was this boy who told his sister he was making a car out of spaghetti. She
didn’t believe him… but you should have seen her face when he drove PASTA (past her)
didn’t believe him… but you should have seen her face when he drove PASTA (past her)
Halloween Jokes
Prianka
What’s a ghost’s favourite desert?
I scream and boo berry pie
I scream and boo berry pie
Gabrielle Stephenson
Waiter, waiter there’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it!
Waiter: Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it!
Clare
How do you tickle a skeleton? Tickle its funny bone.
Marco
Why didn’t the skeleton jump off the cliff? Because he did not have the guts to do it!
Sue and Mary
Why didn’t the ghost see a horror movie? He didn’t have the guts!
Ruth
What did the ghost have for supper? Spooketti
Sue and Mary
octor, Doctor there’s a ghost in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him!
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him!
Steve
What did the boy skeleton say to the girl skeleton?
“I love every bone in your body!”
“I love every bone in your body!”
Maxine and Millie
Who is the best dancer at a ghost’s party?
The boogie man!
The boogie man!
Nathan Walls
Why were all the bones chasing each other? Because the skull wanted to get ahead!
Selina
What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or TWEET!
Trick or TWEET!
Aggie
What’s a ghost’s favourite food?
I SCREAM!
I SCREAM!
Cheyenne
Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had BAT breath
Because he had BAT breath
October 2020
Seb
What do you call a fairy that hasn’t had a bath for a week?
Stinker bell!
Stinker bell!
Olive
When should you buy a bird?
When they’re going cheep! (Cheap!)
When they’re going cheep! (Cheap!)
Alex
What do turtles do on their birthday?
They SHELL-abrate!
They SHELL-abrate!
Trevor
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he’d rather just stay at C! (Sea!)
Because he’d rather just stay at C! (Sea!)
Ryan
What is white and sits in a corner?
A naughty fridge.
What is big, red and sits in a corner?
A naughty bus!
A naughty fridge.
What is big, red and sits in a corner?
A naughty bus!
Harley
How do BEES get to school?
On the school BUZZ!
On the school BUZZ!
Peggy
What do you call a wasp?
A wanna-bee!
A wanna-bee!
Maneer
Why does everyone love kiwis
They’re cute and small and fuzzy!
They’re cute and small and fuzzy!
Vinnie
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you
Who’s there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you
September 2020
Xanthie
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Willim and Ali
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Danielle
What’s the best thing to put in a pie?
Your teeth
Your teeth
Sanja
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Bear feet
Danielson
What two letters of the alphabet can keep you from doing your homework?
T.V.
T.V.
Rinnay
What do you get when an elephant sits on your friend?
A flat mate.
A flat mate.
Laura
Why did Mr lettuce blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
Awhina
What kind of music scares balloons?
POP music!
POP music!
Becca
When does a hippopotamus go “mooooo”?
When it is learning a new language!
When it is learning a new language!
Anahera
What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!
Time to get a new bed!
Milly
Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
Eli
Did you hear about the kid who went into the supermarket and asked for helicopter chips?
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
Evie
How do you start an insect race?
One. Two FLEA. Go!
One. Two FLEA. Go!
Sheldon
What does a bird have for breakfast?
Tweet bix
Tweet bix
August 2020
Trinity
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
The Mooooovies
The Mooooovies
Dimitri
If a seagull flies over the sea what flies over a bay?
A bagel.
A bagel.
Jaala
When is an apple not an apple?’
When it’s a PINE-apple
When it’s a PINE-apple
Jed
What’s a dog’s favourite pizza?
PUP-eroni!
PUP-eroni!
Sanja
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Bear feet
Zoe
How does a Lemon ask for a hug?
Give us a squeeze!
Give us a squeeze!
Marcus
What happened when nana gave the grape a big squeeze
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
W…
What car does Yoda drive?
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
Rose
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Ten-tickles!
Jamal
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!
July 2020
Claude
How much do pirates charge for piercing an ear?
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
Trevor
If you want to drive a locomotive what do you need to do…?
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Maia
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Enzo
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
Dex
On the first day back from holidays why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!
Because her class was so bright!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
Annon
What’s the difference between a tuna fish and a piano?
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
Ana and Kaia’s Limerick
Elephants sleep standing up.
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.
June 2020
Jaz
What do you call a rainbow with no colours?
A PLAIN-bow!
A PLAIN-bow!
Bennie
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
He wanted to go to the mooooon
He wanted to go to the mooooon
Aggie
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
Nacho cheese
Millie
What do you get when you put a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake
A milkshake
Oscar
What’s a spider’s favourite day?
FLY-day
FLY-day
Holly
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
Nik
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I LAVA you.
I LAVA you.
Daisy
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!
April 2020
Marlon
How do bees get to school?
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
Danielle
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
Sophie
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
A mon-key!
Cora
Did you hear about the frog who was raised by bunnies?
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
Zoe
What do you call a place where the animals practice martial arts?
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
Toby
What do you call a bee that can’t make up his mind?
A may-beee.
A may-beee.
Shaun
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Viv and Bianca
What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Emma and Daniel
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Tanika
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
Ramon
Did you hear about the guy stealing vegetables? It’s okay. The police caught him. They got him when he stopped to take a leek!
March 2020
Nate
What do winnie the Pooh and Bob the Builder have in common?
The same middle name!
The same middle name!
Olive
On which day of the week does Tigger eat the most?
Chewsday
Chewsday
Arie
What is a cat’s favourite exercise?
Puss-ups!
Puss-ups!
Charlie
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
Annalise
What happened to the frog’s car when he parked somewhere he shouldn’t?
The Frog’s car got toad
The Frog’s car got toad
Petra
What happens if you tell a duck a joke?
They quack up.
They quack up.
Unknown
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
Trevor
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
They eat whatever bugs them!
Sarah
Did you hear about the frog with a broken leg?
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
Ralph
When it’s time to go swimming, how deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep
Knee-deep Knee-deep
February 2020
Laurene
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t “chicken”!
Massey
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cos another chicken was “egging” him on
Karl
What room doesn’t have any doors? I don’t know Trevor – what room doesn’t have any doors?
A mushroom!
Matthew
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back!
Ebony
What should you do if someone stamps their foot?
Put an envelope on the floor so they can stamp that
January 2020
Nur
One tomato was walking through a field when all of a sudden she saw another tomato.
She asked the tomato “Have you seen the rainbow”.
The other tomato said “What??? A talking tomato, arrrrggghhh!”
Marshall
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
Ethan
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
An impasta!
Roshan
Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
At the hickory dickory dock.
Madison
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
So they can fight knights!
Travis
What is green and has yellow wheels?
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Shanalise
Why did grandad say to run around the bed after so many late nights.
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep
December 2019
Pierre
Why don’t bananas snore?
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Paul
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
Hollie
What kind of key opens a banana?
A Mon-KEY!
A Mon-KEY!
Beau
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Lola
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear!
Thunderwear!
Ezra
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their butt-quacks!
To cover their butt-quacks!
Natasha Craig
What side of a chicken has the most feathers?
The outside!
The outside!
Sophie Arnold
What pen is better to write with?
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Roman Phillips
What do you call a horse that lives nextdoor?
Your neigh-bour!
Your neigh-bour!
Lara Cadman
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!!
A stick!!
Bryan & Bobby
Why is a police officer the strongest person in the world?
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
Pablo Biesold-Jones
Where do you weigh a whale?
In a whale weigh station.
In a whale weigh station.
Briar Taylor
What rides at the amusement park do ghosts like best?
The rollerghoster
The rollerghoster
Cora Flynn
What do you get when you cross a unicycle with a cob of corn?
A unicorn
A unicorn
William Cahill
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a lemon?
A dino-sour
A dino-sour
Samuel Cahill
What’s a Pirates’ favorite letter?
C (Sea)
C (Sea)
Sophie Dornauf
Where do you go to brush your teeth?
Invergargle!
Invergargle!
Joshua Groot
Why isnt the Cook Strait bumpy?
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Isabella Powell
What is a bunny’s favourite dance?
Hip hop
Hip hop
Leonie Ruben
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
Arnia de Winter
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Oscar & Mum
What did the hill say when it saw the lovely view?
Lookout!
Lookout!
Damian Love
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A WALK!!!
A WALK!!!
Cam Emmett
What did the cat say to the other cat?
You look the same as me, ow
You look the same as me, ow
Zach Murray
What do you call a computer on Mount Everest?
High tech
High tech
Molly C
Why was 6 afraid of 7
Because 789!
Because 789!
Elizabeth Terrey
What do you get when you cross a Vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests.
Lots of blood tests.
Vania Walsh
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)