Send in your jokes, below…
Evie!
What’s a monster’s favourite dessert?
Ice-scream!!
Daria
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A-tish.
A-tish who?
Bless you!
Jasper
How do ducks celebrate Guy Fawkes?
With Fire-QUACKERS!
Keeley
How does a unicorn get to the park?
On a uni-cycle!
Molly
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air BABOON!
Martha
Why wouldn’t the TWO-dollar coin roll down the hill with the ONE-dollar coin?
Because it had more CENTS!
Declan
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Nunya.
Nunya who?
Nunya business.
Nancy
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
Delilah
What’s another name for a late train?
A SLOW-co-motive!
Darcy
What kind of music do rabbits like?
Hip-HOP!
Melody
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a TUBA glue!
Britta
What do you call an owl with a sore throat?
An oowww-l!
Terrance
Why did the owl think it was a sheep?
Because it was a baaaaaarn owl
Miller
What is the wildest animal in the world.
A Wild-erbeest
Trevor
Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck!
Teina.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they can spend years at C!
Marlon
How did the pirate know he needed glasses?’
He had an aye-aye test!
Melody!
Who stole the soap?’
The ROBBER ducky!
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers!
Teegan
What biscuits do monkeys like?’
Chocolate CHIMP cookies!
Abigail
What do you call a skeleton who rests all day?
Lazy BONES!
Monty
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry, I’m not that scary!
| THE JOKES ARCHIVE | JOKESTAR |
|---|---|
| What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you! | Patrick |
| Why is Peter Pan flying all the time? He Neverlands! | Miriam |
| What do you call a tiger that drinks lemonade? A sour puss! | Sinead |
| Why did the cat sit on the computer? Because it was a laptop | Linley |
| Why did the man sleep with a ruler? To see how long he slept | Elliot |
| Waiter, waiter, I’m starving, will my hamburger be long? No sir, it will be round like everybody else's. | Martin |
| What do you call an ape who likes pavlova? A meringue-utan | Pedro |
| What kind of socks do Grizzly Bears wear? None. Coz they always have BEAR feet! | Mason |
| What did the duck say after it bought lipstick? Put it on my BILL | Hazel |
| WhatÂ’s big, has a trunk and likes peanuts? Hmmmm, an Elephant? No! An old oak tree with a squirrel in it | Carlos |
| What the frog said when he went to the library? Read it, read it, reeeead it! | Trevor |
| What did the chicken say when she went to the library? Booooooook, book book book book | Filamina |
| Why did the duck cross the road? To show he wasn't chicken! | Brenna |
| Why did the chewing gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickenÂ’s foot! | Leoniee |
| What do you call a gorilla with bananas in his ears? Anything you like – he can’t hear you! | Alfie |
| What do you call a snake on a building site? A boa constructor! | Willa |
| What is brown, furry and has twelve paws? The Three Bears! | Manuia |
| What did the dentist say to Luke Skywalker? Let the FLOSS be with you! | Benji |
| Why does Luke Skywalker sleep with the light on? HeÂ’s afraid of the DARTH! | Benji |
| WhatÂ’s yellow and dangerous? Shark-infested custard! | Pippa |
| What do you call an exploding monkey? A Ba-BOOM! | Crew |
| Why did the mushroom leave the party? Because there wasnÂ’t MUSH-ROOM | Alice |
| Why does a Brontosuarus have a loooooooong loooonng neck? So he canÂ’t smell his stinky feet | Thomas |
| Knock Knock. WhoÂ’s there? Water. Water who? Water you doing telling jokes right now? DonÂ’t you have things to do? | Kayden |
| why was the number 9 afraid of the number 7? Because 7, 8, 9! | Kirsten |
| What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede? A walkie-talkie! | Samara |
| What restaurant did the robot go to? Mega-BITES | Ivan |
| What do you call it when a Brontosaurus gets a soccer goal? A dino-SCORE! | Ria |
| What do you get if you cross a fancy shop with an angry bull? Something that CHARGES a lot | Sascha |
| Limerick: There once were two cats from Welly. Each thought that was one cat too many. So, they started to fight. And to scratch and to bite. Now, instead of two cats, there arenÂ’t any! | Isaac |
| Now, instead of two cats, there arenÂ’t any! | Pheobe |
| What do you call Santa Claus at the beach? Sandy Claus SantaÂ’s Cat at the beach? Sandy claws What do you call SantaÂ’s dog at the beach? Sandy paws | |
| What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet, ribbit? A mistle-toed | Daria |
| What is the favourite music of SantaÂ’s elves? Rap music What was SantaÂ’s favourite subject at school? Christ-maths What did the wise men say after they gave gold and frankincense? But wait! ThereÂ’s myrrh! | Islisanne |
| A man had a shirt made of paper, pants made of paper, socks made of paper and a jacket made of paper? What was his name?Â’ Russell! Why do cats always get what they want? Because theyÂ’re very PURR-suasive! | Marlon |
| Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! | Vaana |
| What do you call cheese that isnÂ’t yours? Nacho cheese! Why did the starfish blush? Because the seaÂ…weed! | Ariana |
| Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay weÂ’d have to call it a bay gull | Felicity |
| Why was the ocean upset? It had crabs on itÂ’s bottom! | Donte |
| What has no eyes but watches the beach all day everyday. The ocean – it seas everything! What do you get if you cross paper with guacamole? Avo-card-board! | Aria |
| WhoÂ’s an appleÂ’s favourite relative? Granny Smith! | Arlo |
| Why did the man fall down the well? He couldnÂ’t see THAT WELL! | Jasper |
| What kind of dog does a magician have? A Labracadabrador! | Tamiti |
| What do you get when you put an i-phone in a blender? APPLE juice | Ammi |
| What did the sea say to the beach? Nothing – it just waved! | Erica |
| How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb? A one, a two, a one, two, three, four, hit itÂ… And then they have to change the light bulb again. | Anon |
| What's an ig? A snow house without a loo! | Jessica |
| Knock, knock. Who's there? Says. Says who? Says me! | Wiremu |
| What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers | Marnie |
| What type of haircuts do bees get? Buzz cuts! | Travis |
| Why did the unicorn want to go to intermediate school? So he could get to wear a uni-form! | Shonay |
| Do you know why Cinderella wasn't very good at netball? She kept running away from the ball. | Trevor |
| How can you tell if an elephant is under your bed? Your nose will touch the ceiling. | Aunty Neecie |
| How come you don't see elephants hiding in trees! Because they're so good at it! | Becky |
| Why does a Lion wear a furry coat? Because he'd look silly in a red plastic raincoat! | Micha |
| What do you get if you cross a cow with a sheep, and a goat? The milky baa kid | Carmen |
| Why did the teddy bear cross the road? To show he wasn't chicken | Ivy |
| Knock, Knock Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? Nobel?that's why I knocked! | Bex |
| I know two digger drivers. Guess what their names are? Doug. And Phil! | Elijah |
| How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test? He NAILED it! | Danica |
| What's tall when it is young but short when it's old? A candle! | Cody |
| Why did the star keep going to school? So it could get brighter | Erin |
| Where do the stars go to get their milk? She Milky Way | Nelson |
| What star wears sunglasses? A movie star! | What do stars like to read? COMET books! | Rayna |
| What is an astronauts favourite key on the keyboard? The SPACE-bar! | Harlen |
| How do astronauts pay for their coffee? With Star Bucks! | Tamati |
| How do you get clean in space? In a meteor shower! | Paul |
| What channel should you watch if you want to laugh? The comet-y channel | Marie |
| Why did the cow want to be an astronaut? So she could visit the milky way. | Ope |
| Why did the star want to move? He needed some space | Praneesh |
| Why did the dog do so well in school? He was the teachers pet! | Taite |
| Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. | Aaron |
| Knock, knock. Who's there? Abby. Abby who? Abby Mother's Day! | Macy |
| Why was the computer so smart? It always listened to it's Motherboard! | Xavier |
| Why did the kid throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see a butter? fly! | Tyler |
| Why do so many fish live in salt water? Because PEPPER water would make them sneeze! | Yani |
| What kind of dog does a magician have? A labracadabrador | Delilah |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you trying not to laugh at my knock-knock jokes | Hana |
| Who's there? Little old lady? Little old lady who? Wow! I didn't know you could yodel! | Todd |
| How do you fix a broken tuba. With a tuba (tube of) glue! | Andre |
| Why did the piano player bang his head against the keys? He was playing by ear! | Tsanate |
| Why did the singer climb the ladder? To reach the high notes! | Rilee |
| What makes muisc on your head? A head band! | Lea |
| What do you call a cow that can play an insturment? A Moooo-sician | Quinn |
| What music are balloons afraid of? Pop music! What kind of music to Egyptian mummies like? Rap music. What kind of music do rabbits like? Hip Hop! | Bella |
| What types of songs do planetes sing? Nep-tunes. | Everet |
| What is Beethoven's favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaaaaa | Brendan |
| What kind of scientist puts bubbles in lemonade? A FIZZ-acist! | Bella |
| How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready. TEDDY. Go! | Seb |
| What goes zzzzzub, zzzzub? A bee flying backwards! | Asher |
| Why did the jelly wobble? Because it saw the milkshake | Levi |
| Why can you never play a trick on a snake? Because you can't pull its leg | Carla |
| What do you call the daughter of a hamburger? Patty. | Marco |
| What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel! | Phillipe |
| What is the Easter bunny's favourite saying? Don't worry. Be HOPPY! | Anna |
| What do you call a line of bunnies hopping backwards? A receding HARE-line! | Jordan |
| What's the difference between a heathy bunny and a clown bunny? One is a fit bunny, and the other's a bit funny! | Tai |
| What do you call a transformer bunny? HOP-tamus Prime! | Handrix |
| What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a frog? You get a bunny RIBBET | Clancy Family |
| What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed? Time to get a new bed! | Matai |
| He asks What do you call a secret agent that lives in a detergent bottle? Bubble 07 | Levi |
| What is white and sits in a corner? A naughty fridge | Rebecca |
| What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two? | Deon |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? AL-paca suitcase. YOU see what time the train leaves | Thea |
| How did Thomas the Tank Engine get so good at his job? Training. Lots of train-ing. | Emile |
| What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom. | Tanja |
| Where is the ocean the deepest? On the bottom. | Tyson |
| Whyshould you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong? Because they never do it on porpoise! Get it? Porpoise is another name for dolphin. They never do it on purpose ? they never do it on porpoise! | Becca |
| What does a sea monster eat? Fish and Ships! What does a shark like to eat? Peanut butter and jelly fish sandwiches! What does every picnic at the beach have? Sandwiches! And... Man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs. The doctors say he's recovering, and he'll be out in the Spring. | Raul |
| What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words? A thesaurus! | Ben |
| What goes (getting faster & faster) Black, White, Black-White, Black-White-Black? A penguin rolling down a hill! | Freya! |
| A boy walks into a diary and asks for a pack of HELICOPTER flavoured chips. The guy behind the counter says, ?sorry, we've only got PLANE! | Jordie |
| What do you call it when two mice share a piece of cheese. A compro-MICE. | Arie |
| What's an astronaut's favourite chocolate? A MARS bar... | Abergail |
| My dad calls his old track pants Lucy. Because they've got loose elastic! | Bethany |
| What do you get if you cross a cow with a rabbit? A hare in your milk! | Nathan |
| What game do you think an elephant plays in a phone box? Squash! | Emery |
| What kind of tree can sit on your hand? A palm tree of course! | Sacha |
| What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A wooly jumper | Aemlia |
| Which superhero is the best at cricket? BAT-man! | Tammy |
| Why wasn't Cinderella a good runner? Because her COACH? was a pumpkin. | Olive |
| What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past!! | Charlie |
| Why did the bird cross the park and the playground. Because the bird was looking for a bush where she can build her nest and lay her eggs. | Rapture |
| How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut! | Eliza |
| What's a kitten's favourite colour? Purrrr-ple! | Ella |
| Why won't the calendar last long? Because it's days are numbered! | Zac |
| Why did the cow cross the road? Because he wanted to go to the... moooooooooooooovies | Jaan |
| What begins with a P and ends with a E and has a whole heap of letter in it? A post office! | Patrick |
| What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody Knows | Elliot |
| How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves. | Krista |
| Didi you here about the Otter, Jin, that made a Great Escape? It was otterly amazing! | Ahmid |
| Why did the tiger lose every game of cards? Because he was playing with a cheetah! | Stevie |
| Why would you throw your watch out the window? To watch time fly! | Eli |
| What has six legs, four eyes, two heads and a tail? A man sitting on a donkey! | George |
| What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? The tiger has the MANE part missing. | Emerson |
| What's gooey, yellow and smells like bananas? Monkey Boogers | Anahera |
| What do you call dancing by the sink? Tap dancing | Arama |
| What does a garden gnome do each day after school? Their gnomework! | Jeremy |
| Why was the BROOM late to class? It over-SWEPT! | Nikita |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Don't cry ? it's just a joke! | Zara |
| How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10! 10 tickles? get it? Tentacles? | Jordan |
| What is something you always get on your birthday, guaranteed? A year older! | Paige |
| What present does a reindeer want for Christmas? A Pony Sleigh Station! | Olive |
| What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rein, deer! | Pryia |
| What do you call a snake on a building site? A boa constructor! | Noah |
| Why are pirates good to have join you on Christmas Day. They just Arrrrrrggggghhhh | Trevor |
| What do you call a small dog that sneezes a lot? Achoo! Wa-wa! | Roco |
| His joke is what goes baaa baaaa, hooooooowl? A wolf in sheeps clothing | Jacob |
| What do you call a snake on a building site? A boa constructor! | Noah |
| A man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs? The doctors say he's recovering, and he'll be out in the Spring. | Sia |
| What kind of underwear do monkeys wear? Chimp-pantsies! | Eddie |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Isobel. Isobel who? Is a bell not working? | Harlyn |
| What do kittens like to eat? MICE-cream... | Art |
| What do you call a sleeping bull? A Bull-dozer! | Bodhi |
| What do you call a goose that's a giant! Hu-mung-GOOSE | Elijah |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome! | Tavita |
| What kind of snake would you find on a car? A windscreen VIPER! | Leon |
| Which side of a goose has the most feathers? The OUTside! | Archie |
| What's fast, loud and crunchy? A Rocket CHIP! | Teegan |
| What exercise do sheep do every day to stay fit? Zoom... Baa! | Felix |
| What fruit do sheep like? Baaaaa-naaaaa-naaaaas! | Nate |
| What sound does a carrot make? It goes SQWARK SQWARK ? a carrot is orange and sounds like a parrot. Carrot ? parrot, get it? | Ashleigh |
| Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright! | Rawiri |
| What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm! | Kara |
| Did you hear about the cat that tried cooking? It was a cat-astrophe. | Malachi |
| How did the barber win the running race? He took a SHORT-CUT! | Lexi |
| When does a hippopotamus go ?mooooo'? When it's learning a new language! Do you want to hear the secret joke about peanut butter? Can't tell you. You might SPREAD it. | Ella |
| Why couldn't the pony neigh as loudly as the horses? It had a sore throat and it was a... little horse!!! | Luka |
| What's the best thing to take to a picnic at the beach? A sandwich! | Jessica & Craig |
| You know how the sea says hello to the beach? It waves. How does one beach say hello to another beach? With a sandshake. | Sabina |
| Who always comes to a picnic but is never ever invited. Ants! | Francis |
| Who's in charge of the school during the holidays. The rulers | Maia |
| What time is it when a hippopotamus swings around on your washing line? Time to get a new washing line! | Rebecca |
| Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course not ? because houses can't jump! | Riyansh |
| How do you make a tissue dance...? You put a little boogie in it. | Harpa |
| Which 3 letters of the alphabet make everything in the world move? NRG | Trevor |
| Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the UDDER side | Lily |
| If you had 5 potatoes in one hand and 5 kumara in the other hand what would you have? You'd have massive hands | May |
| Where do trout keep their money? The River Bank | Ella |
| What did the duck say after she bought some lipstick? Put it on my BILL! | Fleur |
| Do you know what the first animal was in space? The cow who jumped over the moon | Carter |
| How does a witch style her hair? With scare-spray | Nerida |
| What kind of monster likes to dance? The boogeyman. | Graham |
| What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo! | Martin |
| What's brown and sticky? A stick | Maebh Lambarth |
| Why can't a bike stand up on its own? Because it's TWO-TIRED | Gabriel |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo WHO? Don't cry, it's just a joke! | Samantha |
| What do a fire truck and an elephant have in common? They're both red... except for the elephant! | Jimmy |
| What do you call a flying policeman? A heli-copper! | Clementine |
| What did Iron Man say to Ant man? Stop bugging me! | Angus |
| What do you call a super hero for computers? A Screen Saver | Archie |
| How do you stay warm in any room? Go to the corner ? it's always 45 degrees! | Willow |
| Who's in charge of the school during the holidays? The rulers | Miah |
| What time is it when a hippopotamus swings around on your washing line? Time to get a new washing line! | Rebecca |
| A tomato mum crossed the road with her children. A fast car was approaching. Mum tomato shouted to her kids behind her, CATCH UP'! (Ketchup) | Esther |
| What is a kangaroos favourite Music? Hip hop | Sasha |
| What's grey, dangerous and squirts jam at you? A shark eating a jam donut | Billy |
| Who asks what time is it when an elephant sits on your couch? Time to get a new couch | Jax |
| What makes a tree noisy? Its bark! | Nadia |
| What kind of lunch do you eat at the beach? A Sand-wich! | Jimmy |
| How do you have a party in space? You planet! (Plan It) | Henry |
| What do you do if you see a spaceman? You park your car, man | Travis |
| How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket! | Saskia |
| What New Zealand building has the most storeys? The library has the most STORIES | Nolan |
| What is always in front of you but can't be seen...? The FUTURE! | Kiara |
| What kind of lunch do you eat at the beach? A Sand-wich! | Elijah |
| A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd. She was frightened, it must be allowed. Soon a happy thought hit her. So to scare off the critter. She sat up in bed and meowed! | Henry's Limerick |
| Why did the bubble cross the road? To see his POP | Olive |
| What do you call a monkey with bananas in his ears? Anything you like. He can't hear you | Ezra |
| Did you hear the one about the customer asking the waiter ?Waiter, will my hamburger be long?? The waiter said ?No sir, it will be round like everybody else's? | Dannica |
| Who asks what time is it when an elephant sits on your couch? Time to get a new couch | Melody |
| Why did the jelly wobble? Because it saw the milk-shake | Justin |
| Did you hear about the person dinning at the restaurant who said... ?Waiter, waiter there's a fly in my soup!? and the waiter said: ?Don't worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it? | Gabriella |
| What's grey, dangerous and squirts jam at you? A shark eating a jam donut | Elliot |
| What kind of bird can cook? A Kookaburra | Nichola |
| Why did the woodworm ask for a table for one? He was feeling peckish! | Mathias |
| Why did the duck cross the road? It was looking for bread! | Rapture |
| What vegetables go best with Jacket Potatoes? Button Mushrooms! What happened to the wooden car with the wooden wheels and the wooden motor? It wooden go! And, what happened to the steel car with the steel wheel's and the steel motor? It steel wouldn't go! | Helen |
| A circus performer named Brian. Once smiled as he rode on a lion. They came back from the ride. But with Brian inside. And the smile on the face of the lion! | Logan's Limerick |
| There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamt that he swallowed his shoe. He woke up in fright. In the mid of the night. To learn that his dream has come true! | Limar's Limerick |
| Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze! | Flo |
| What do you call a star wars droid who takes the long way home? R 2 detour. | MacKenzie |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome! | Kitt |
| What do you get if you pour very warm water down a rabbit hole? Hot Cross Bunnies | Lachie |
| How does the Easter Bunny keep fit? Eggs-ercise | Tilly |
| Where can you find the most information about eggs? In the hencyclopedia. | Ethan |
| Why did the chicken go up the stairs? She was already across the street. | Archie |
| What did the triangle say to the circle? You're pointless. | Jess |
| What goes black. white. black, white, black-white-black-white? A panda rolling down a hill! | Cody |
| Why did the chicken join the band? Because he had the drumsticks! | Lisbeth |
| Knock, Knock. Who's There? Woo. Woo who? Don't get so excited, it's just a joke | Elliot |
| Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the otherside. Well, why did the chewing gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot! | Anony Mous 🙂 |
| What vegtables should you never bring on the boat? Leeks! | Paul |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Cows. Cows who? Cows go moo not who! | Daisy |
| Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn't stop horsing around. | Dene |
| Why do bikes fall over? Because they're TWO-TYRED (tired) | Jed |
| Why wasn't Cinderella any good at football? She always ran away from the ball | Tarquin |
| Why couldn't Cinderalla join a tap dance class? She kept kicking off her shoe | Loretta |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! | Brooke |
| What do you call a fly with no wings? A WALK! | Greysona |
| What did the happy rabbit say to the sad rabbit? Don't worry. Be HOPPY! | Olivia |
| What do trees and dogs have in common? Bark. What type of feet do bears have? Bear feet! | Hamish and Cameron |
| What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot... dog | Martin |
| Why couldn't the animal talk? Because he was a little horse! | Bianca |
| Which animal is the shyest? The one that feels the sheepiest | Monica |
| Why can you never play a trick on a snake? Because you can't pull its leg. | Tom |
| What's below a pigs knees? Its oinkels! | Rebecca |
| Where do cats go on a school trip? The MIAOW-seum | Tyrone |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Wooden. Wooden who? Wooden you like to know! | William |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Hey, what are you so happy about? | Amanda |
| What type of feet do bears have? Bear feet (bare feet) | Sanjay |
| What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A head-banger | Tania |
| What kind of fight do sumo wrestles have under the sea? A water fight | Chris |
| Why was the doctor so angry? Because he didn't have any patients (patience) | Pranjal |
| Who says' Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh at Christmas time? Santa! Walking backwards. | Christina |
| Where does Santa find his reindeer? It depends where he leaves them! | Nakita |
| What kind of music does Santa's elves like? Wrap music | Carlton and Ralph |
| How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate? He has a black belt! | Venetia |
| Knock knock... Who's there? Hannah. Hannah who? (singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree | Leeze |
| Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Ele-phanta Claus | Jazz |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Ahhh... Wayne. Ahhh? Wayne who? (singing)Ahhh? WAYNE in a Manger... no-o crib for a bed... | Aroha |
| How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack? Only one ? after that it's not empty any more! | Jemma |
| How do elves get to the top floor of Santa's workshop? The use the ELFator | Carter |
| What's the best Christmas present of all? A broken drum. Because you just can't BEAT... a broken drum. | Tipene |
| What do you call Santa's Cat at the Beach? SANDY claws! | Emile |
| What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus | Ollie |
| What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has no ?L'... (singing) No-el, no-o-el?no-o el, no-el? | Jess |
| What song do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells | Rhaya |
| What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santa-pplause! | Alex |
| What's a spider's favourite day? FLY-day | Oscar |
| Why do monkeys carry bananas? Because bananas can't walk. | Lauren |
| What's the fastest food in the world? Scone | Hannah |
| Why did the boy go fishing on the moon? He wanted to catch starfish! | Lily |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya, Ya Who? What are you so happy about? | Amanda |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Radio. Radio who? Radio-not, here I come! | Blake |
| What do you call a wolf lying in the sun? A Hotdog! | Savannah |
| There was this boy who told his sister he was making a car out of spaghetti. She didn't believe him... but you should have seen her face when he drove PASTA (past her) | Kingston |
| What's a ghost's favourite desert? I scream and boo berry pie | Prianka |
| Waiter, waiter there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it! | Gabrielle |
| How do you tickle a skeleton? Tickle its funny bone. | Clare |
| Why didn't the skeleton jump off the cliff? Because he did not have the guts to do it! | Marco |
| Why didn't the ghost see a horror movie? He didn't have the guts! | Sue and Mary |
| What did the ghost have for supper? Spooketti | Ruth |
| Doctor, Doctor there's a ghost in the waiting room. Doctor: Tell him I can't see him! | Sue and Mary |
| What did the boy skeleton say to the girl skeleton? ?I love every bone in your body!? | Steve |
| Who is the best dancer at a ghost's party? The boogie man! | Maxine and Millie |
| Why were all the bones chasing each other? Because the skull wanted to get ahead! | Nathan |
| What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or TWEET! | Selina |
| What's a ghost's favourite food? I SCREAM! | Aggie |
| Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had BAT breath | Cheyenne |
| What do you call a fairy that hasn't had a bath for a week? Stinker bell! | Seb |
| When should you buy a bird? When they're going cheep! (Cheap!) | Olive |
| What do turtles do on their birthday? They SHELL-abrate! | Alex |
| Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet? Because he'd rather just stay at C! (Sea!) | Trevor |
| What is white and sits in a corner? A naughty fridge. What is big, red and sits in a corner? A naughty bus! | Ryan |
| How do BEES get to school? On the school BUZZ! | Harley |
| What do you call a wasp? A wanna-bee! | Peggy |
| Why does everyone love kiwis They're cute and small and fuzzy! | Maneer |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Arch Arch who? Bless you | Vinnie |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Ip Ip who? (Ipoo!) | Xanthie |
| What did one toilet say to the other toilet? Are you ok? You're looking a little flushed! | Willim and Ali |
| What's the best thing to put in a pie? Your teeth | Danielle |
| What type of feet do bears have? Bear feet | Sanja |
| What two letters of the alphabet can keep you from doing your homework? T.V. | Danielson |
| What do you get when an elephant sits on your friend? A flat mate. | Rinnay |
| Why did Mr lettuce blush? Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence. | Laura |
| What kind of music scares balloons? POP music! | Awhina |
| When does a hippopotamus go ?mooooo?? When it is learning a new language! | Becca |
| What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed? Time to get a new bed! | Anahera |
| Why did the kid throw the butter out the window? She wanted to see the butter-fly! | Milly |
| Did you hear about the kid who went into the supermarket and asked for helicopter chips? They didn't have any ? so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones | Eli |
| How do you start an insect race? One. Two FLEA. Go! | Evie |
| What does a bird have for breakfast? Tweet bix | Sheldon |
| Where do cows go on Friday nights? The Mooooovies | Trinity |
| If a seagull flies over the sea what flies over a bay? A bagel. | Dimitri |
| When is an apple not an apple?' When it's a PINE-apple | Jaala |
| What's a dog's favourite pizza? PUP-eroni! | Jed |
| What type of feet do bears have? Bear feet | Sanja |
| How does a Lemon ask for a hug? Give us a squeeze! | Zoe |
| What happened when nana gave the grape a big squeeze It let out a little wine ? ohhhhhhh! | Marcus |
| What car does Yoda drive? A Toy-yoda! (Toyota) | W |
| How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles! | Rose |
| Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell? He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him... sluggish! | Jamal |
| How much do pirates charge for piercing an ear? A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!) | Claude |
| If you want to drive a locomotive what do you need to do...? Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING | Trevor |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Scold. Scold who? Scold outside, let me in! | Maia |
| What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant. Elephant ? Irrelevant ? Irrelephant! | Enzo |
| On the first day back from holidays why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses? Because her class was so bright! Why was the teacher cross-eyed? Because he couldn't control his pupils! | Dex |
| What's the difference between a tuna fish and a piano? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! | Annon |
| Elephants sleep standing up. And can't really drink from a cup. They like to have baths. But are no good at maths. And eat from sun down to sun up. | Ana and Kaia's Limerick |
| What do you call a rainbow with no colours? A PLAIN-bow! | Jaz |
| Why did the cow go in the spaceship? He wanted to go to the mooooon | Bennie |
| What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese | Aggie |
| What do you get when you put a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake | Millie |
| What's a spider's favourite day? FLY-day | Oscar |
| What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa! | Holly |
| What did one volcano say to the other volcano? I LAVA you. | Nik |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Waa-waa. Waa-waa-who? You don't need to cry about it. It's only a joke! | Daisy |
| How do bees get to school? They take the school BUZZ! (bus) | Marlon |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm. | Danielle |
| What kind of key opens a banana? A mon-key! | Sophie |
| Did you hear about the frog who was raised by bunnies? Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit ? he can only say ?Rabbit, Rabbit? | Cora |
| What do you call a place where the animals practice martial arts? A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu) | Zoe |
| What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind? A may-beee. | Toby |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Water Water who? Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle! | Shaun |
| What is the best advice to give to worm? Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm | Viv and Bianca |
| What did the elephant say to his girlfriend? Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton! | Emma and Daniel |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Candice. Candice who? Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside? | Tanika |
| Did you hear about the guy stealing vegetables? It's okay. The police caught him. They got him when he stopped to take a leek! | Ramon |
| What do winnie the Pooh and Bob the Builder have in common? The same middle name! | Nate |
| On which day of the week does Tigger eat the most? Chewsday | Olive |
| What is a cat's favourite exercise? Puss-ups! | Arie |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Cows go Cows go who? No they don't, cows-go moo. | Charlie |
| What happened to the frog's car when he parked somewhere he shouldn't? The Frog's car got toad | Annalise |
| What happens if you tell a duck a joke? They quack up. | Petra |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Icy Icy who? Icy you! (I see you!) | Unknown |
| Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them! | Trevor |
| Did you hear about the frog with a broken leg? No! how was he? Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy | Sarah |
| When it's time to go swimming, how deep can a frog go? Knee-deep Knee-deep | Ralph |
| Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't ?chicken?! | Laurene |
| Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos another chicken was ?egging? him on | Massey |
| What room doesn't have any doors? A mushroom! | Karl |
| What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you? Roll them back! | Matthew |
| What should you do if someone stamps their foot? Put an envelope on the floor so they can stamp that | Ebony |
| One tomato was walking through a field when all of a sudden she saw another tomato. She asked the tomato ?Have you seen the rainbow?. The other tomato said ?What??? A talking tomato, arrrrggghhh!? | Nur |
| What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison! Get it Bye Son. | Marshall |
| What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! | Ethan |
| Where do mice park their boats? At the hickory dickory dock. | Roshan |
| Why do dragons sleep during the day? So they can fight knights! | Madison |
| What is green and has yellow wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels! | Travis |
| Why did grandad say to run around the bed after so many late nights. So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep | Shanalise |
| Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch. | Pierre |
| What's Beethoven's favourite fruit? Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa. | Paul |
| What kind of key opens a banana? A Mon-KEY! | Hollie |
| Why couldn't the pony sing? Because he was a little hoarse. (horse) | Beau |
| What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear! | Lola |
| Why do ducks have tail feathers? To cover their butt-quacks! | Ezra |
| What side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside! | Natasha |
| What pen is better to write with? Neither, you're better of writing with a pen or a pencil | Sophie |
| What do you call a horse that lives nextdoor? Your neigh-bour! | Roman |
| What's brown and sticky? A stick!! | Lara |
| Why is a police officer the strongest person in the world? Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand | Bryan & Bobby |
| Where do you weigh a whale? In a whale weigh station. | Pablo |
| What rides at the amusement park do ghosts like best? The rollerghoster | Briar |
| What do you get when you cross a unicycle with a cob of corn? A unicorn | Cora |
| What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a lemon? A dino-sour | William |
| What's a Pirates' favorite letter? C (Sea) | Samuel |
| Where do you go to brush your teeth? Invergargle! | Sophie |
| Why isnt the Cook Strait bumpy? Because it's Cook STRAIT. | Joshua |
| What is a bunny's favourite dance? Hip hop | Isabella |
| What did the policeman say to his tummy? You're under a vest. Freeze! | Leonie Ruben |
| Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'll Let It Go. | Arnia de Winter |
| What did the hill say when it saw the lovely view? Lookout! | Oscar |
| What do you call a fly with no wings? A WALK!!! | Damian |
| What did the cat say to the other cat? You look the same as me, ow | Cam |
| What do you call a computer on Mount Everest? High tech | Zach |
| Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 789! | Molly |
| What do you get when you cross a Vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests. | Elizabeth |
| What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey! (I'm 80!) | Vania |
| Why couldn't Cinderella play football? Because she always runs away from the BALL. | Mason |
| What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks? FOWL weather! | Nikau |
| What did the chicken do when the traffic lights turned green? EGGS-celerated! | Nikau |
| Why did the chicken join the band? Because she had the drumsticks! | Phil |
| When as awake not awake? When it’s asleep | Alex |
| What did the broccoli plant say to the cauliflower plant. Arrrrggggghhhh a ghost! | Julia |
| Where does a fish keep its money? In an octo-PURSE! | Declan |
| Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ss-ssss-ssss-ssssssside! | Claire |
| Did you hear about the young pilot who flew through a rainbow during his pilot’s exam? He passed with flying colours. | Jade |
| What is black and white, black and white, black and white A zebra crossing a zebra crossing! | Sharaya |
| Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it! | Trainor |
| How can you tell you have an elephant hiding in your fridge? The vegetables are all gone and there are footprints in the butter. | Felix |
| What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear Anything – he can’t hear you! | Elliot |
| Why did the mummy ant only give its baby tiny kisses. Coz the mummy ant only had little lips! | Jazz |
| My dad is so good at sleeping... he can do it with his eyes closed! | Anna |
| Knock Knock Who’s there? Sir Sir who? Sir prize! (Surprise!) | Anon |
| What is the Easter bunny's favourite saying? Don’t worry. Be HOPPY! | Chas |
| Knock knock. Who’s there? Heidi. Heidi who? Heidi Easter Eggs around the house! | Ella |
| What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a frog? You get a bunny RIBBET! | Toby |
| What do you call a transformer bunny? HOP-tamus Prime! | Caitlyn |
| What did the Lego man say to the Lego dinosaur? Lego my foot | Arthur |
| What is a sheep's favourite treat? A chocolate baaaaaaa | Henrietta |
| What is smarter than a talking bat? A Spelling Bee | Freya |
| How do you catch a squirrel? You climb a tree and act like a nut. | Vale |
| Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn’t ‘peeling’ well! | Clara |
| Why don't worms like slaters? The slaters are bugs and they kept bugging the worms | Felix |
| Why are grandad's teeth just like stars? They come out at night! | Marie |
| What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear | Taylor |
| Two muffins are baking in an oven, one of them looks at the other and says "Whew it’s hot in here" the other muffin looks back and says "Ahhhhh a talking muffin!" | Emmet |
| Where do DOGS park their TRUCKS? In the BARKING lot! | Melody |
| Where does a tugboat go when it's sick? To the DOCK-tor. | Vishali |
| Where did the cats go on their school trip? The miaow-seum | Jack |
| Why do walrus' swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze! | Taine |
| Where do horses go when they're sick? The horse-pital! | Manaia |
| How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a STY-scraper! | Will |
| What happened when the world tongue-twister champion got arrested? He got a tough sentence. | Isla |
| What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot? A walkie talkie! | Wes |
| Why did the jellybeans go to school? They wanted to be smarties | Elliot |
| Did you hear about the boy who had the most amazing dream about eating a giant marshmallow. It was such a good dream – it was like he really was eating a marshmellow. And when he woke up…. His pillow was gone. | Jonelle |
| What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon-aid! | Freya |
| What has two wings but can't fly? A rugby game! | Patrick |
| What do sheep sing for birthdays? Happy birthday to Ewe! | Trevor |
| What did the lamb want to be when she grew up? A baa-lerina. | Meila |
| What do you get when you cross a cow with Aotearoa? Moo ZEALAND | Chardonnay |
| What does a goat like to eat on his toast? Maaaaaamite! | Hamish |
| What does a turtle do on its birthday? It SHELL-abrates! | Theo |
| Where do farmers send their children? Kinder-GARDEN | Liana |
| What do cats like to eat? MICE-cream! | Charlotte |
| What did the square say to the circle? Haven't I seen you aROUND | Matty |
| What did one cap say to the other cap? You stay here…and I’ll go on a-HEAD! Get it? A head? | Terrance |
| What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOWntain! | Alex |
| Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssside! | Atarangi |
| Why did the star go to school? He wanted to get BRIGHTER! | Lucas |
| What do you call a dinosaur fart? A blast from the past! | Corey |
| What is a spaceman's favourite food? A Mars bar! | Marshall |
| What did the wolf do after he went for a run? He huffed and he puffed! | Trinity |
| Why was the number 7 afraid? Because, 7 8 9! | Bella |
| Why couldn't the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad! | Ryan |
| Did you hear about the dad that only new 25 letters in the alphabet? He didn't know y! (Why) | Matty |
| Daughter: Dad, I'm hungry Dad: Hello hungry, I'm Dad! | Brenna |
| Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn't stop horsing around! | Rebecca |
| What do you call a cat that eats lemons? A SOUR puss! | Jerry |
| Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Sky Tower? Oh yes it can! The Sky Tower can't jump! | Chad |
| What do you call a snake on a building site? A Boa ConSTRUCTor! | Aria |
| Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! | Violet |
| Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet! | Aurora |
| What gives you the power to walk through a wall? A door!! | Millie |
| Funny fact: A recent Scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number! | Asher |
| Waiter, this coffee tastes like soil! Yes, madam, that's because it was GROUND this morning’. | PorterW |
| Do you know what kind of car Yoda drives? Yoda from Star Wars? No. What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toy-YODA! | Elliot |
| What's brown and furry and has TWELVE paws? Three Bears! | Ches |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dinner!! | Sophia |
| If I had six oranges in one hand and four apples in the other hand what would I have? Really big hands! | Elish |
| What does a spider-bride wear? A WEBBING dress! | Ella |
| Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula | Nathan |
| Did you hear about the two fours that weren't hungry – they already eight! | Patrick |
| Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? So he wouldn't fall into the hot chocolate. | Jeremy |
| What would you do if an elephant sat in front of you at a movie? Miss most of the film! | Leon |
| Pears are great, but I can never eat one by it's self – I need to eat two at a time, because they come in pairs/pears! | Trevor |
| When someone asks "Did you get a hair cut?" He says "No – I got them all cut!" | Maia’s Dad |
| Knock knock... Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? (singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree | Leeze |
| How does Christmas day end? With a Y. Get it – Christmas D-a-Y! | Ralph |
| Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants? Ele-phanta Claus | Jaz |
| How do you measure presents from Father Christmas? By the SANTA-metre! | Loren |
| What does a Gingerbread Man sleep on? A baking sheet! | Marinella |
| What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked up in the sky? Looks like rein, deer!' | Ebony |
| How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack? Only one – after that it’s not empty any more! | Jemima |
| What did the grumpy sheep say on Christmas? Baaaaa humbug | Barry |
| What's the best Christmas present of all? A broken drum. Because you just can't BEAT… a broken drum. | Tipene |
| What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus | Ollie |
| What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has no 'L'... (singing) No-el, no-o-el... no-o el, no-el… | Jess |
| What song do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells. | Rhhaya |
| What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santa-pplause! | Alex |
| What’s the first thing Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet! | Arabella |
| What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa PAUSE. | Priya |
| Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on Trade Me? They were two DEER! | Charlotte |
| What's the best food to take to a Christmas picnic at the beach. A Sand-wich! | Cole |
| What name did Santas elves give him when they stopped off at the beach for a rest one Christmas Eve? Sandy Claus! | Rico |
| Knock knock. Who's there? Wayne. Wayne who? (singing) WAYNE in a Manger... no-o crib for a bed… | Aroha |
| How do you cheer up the sea? Give it a friendly wave! | Nua |
| What's big and fuzzy and goes zub zub? A bumble bee flying backwards! | Charlise |
| Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad DRESSING! | Richie |
| Why is a pea small and green? Because if it was large and red it'd be a tomato! | Beth |
| Knock Knock. Who's there? Radio. Radio who? Radio-not, here I come... ! | Jade |
| What's orange in colour, green on top, and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! | Claude |
| What's the best food to take to a Christmas picnic at the beach. A Sand-wich! | Ebony |
| How do hedgehogs kiss?' Veerrry carefully! | Harriet |
| What's an astronaut's favourite chocolate? A MARS bar! | Trevor |
| What flavour toothpaste do scientists like? Experi-MINT! | Lola |
| What do you call a little robot that takes the long way home? R-2 DETOUR! | Evie! |
| How can you tell there's been a bear hiding in your fridge? You'll see its paw prints in the butter! | Trevor |
| Why does a bear wear a fur coat? They'd look really silly in a wedding dress! | Phil |
| Why did the koala work hard at school? It wanted good koalafications! | Lexi |
| I'm a bird, a person and a fruit, what am I? A kiwi! Kiwi bird, A Kiwi someone who lives in NZ, and the kiwifruit. | Simone |
| What's black white black white black white black white? A penguin rolling down a hill | Willa |
| What do you call a marshellow that's tired from running too fast? A mellowpuffed. | Sacha |
| Why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses? Because the kids in her class were so BRIGHT! | Bella |
| Why was the broom late for school? Because he over-SWEPT! | Phil |
| What do you call a big pile of cats? A MEOWN-tain! | Archie |
| What kind of lion doesn't roar? A DANDY-lion! | Jordan |
| What did the rabbit say to the chicken? I hop you have a Happy Easter. | Paris |
| Why should you never tell an Easter Egg a joke? It might crack up! | Dylan |
| What comes at the end of Easter? The letter R – Easterrrrrrr | Rain |
| How do dinosaurs celebrate Easter? They don’t because they’re egg stinkt! | Ariki |
| Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because they were standing on the deck. | Briah |
| How did the monster fish know how much he weighed? He had SCALES! | Louie |
| What did the hat say to the sock? I’ll go on ahead, you go by foot! | Phil |
| What did the frog say to the librarian? Read it! Read it! And the chicken said book, book, book! | Merlin |
| What does a dog and a tree have in common? They both have bark. | Ariel |
| What town should Elli Copter visit while she’s in NZ? Rotor-rua! | Malachi |
| What’s the most magical vegetable? Uni-CORN! | George |
| Why didn’t the two-dollar coin roll down the hill with the one-dollar coin? Because it had more cents! | Bella |
| What goes zzzub, zzzzzub? A bee flying backwards. | Jesper |
| What did the hat say to the sock? I’ll go on ahead, you go by foot! | Trevor |
| Why was the dinosaur afraid to go to the library? His books were 65 million years overdue! | Piri |
| What nails do builders hate hammering? Fingernails! | Jessie |
| Why didn’t the tree use the computer? He couldn’t log – on! | Darcy |