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2021

Don’t be an egg, send in your yoke!

April 2021

Lachie
What do you get if you pour very warm water down a rabbit hole?
Hot Cross Bunnies
Tilly
How does the Easter Bunny keep fit?
Eggs-ercise
Ethan
Where can you find the most information about eggs?
In the hencyclopedia.
.
Anony Mous 🙂
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the otherside
Well, why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Archie
Why did the chicken go up the stairs?
She was already across the street.
Lisbeth
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks!
Elliot
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Jess
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You’re pointless.
Cody
What goes black. white. black, white, black-white-black-white?
A panda rolling down a hill!

March 2021

Paul
What vegtables should you never bring on the boat?
Leeks!
Daisy
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Cows
Cows who?
Cows go moo not who!
Elliot
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Woo
Woo who?
Don’t get so excited, it’s just a joke
Lisbeth
Why did the chicken join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks
Archie
Why did the chicken go up the stairs?
She was already across the street
ANONYMOUS
Why did the chicken cross the road
To get to the otherside
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot
Dene
Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
Jed
Why do bikes fall over?
Because they’re TWO-TYRED (tired)
Tarquin
Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at football?
She always ran away from the ball
Loretta
Why couldn’t Cinderalla join a tap dance class?
She kept kicking off her shoe

February 2021

Brooke
Knock knock
Who’s there
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Greysona
what do you call a fly with no wings?
A WALK!
Olivia
What did the happy rabbit say to the sad rabbit?
Don’t worry. Be HOPPY!
Hamish and Cameron
What do trees and dogs have in common?
Bark
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet!
Martin
What do you call a dog with a fever?
A hot… dog
Bianca
Why couldn’t the animal talk?
Because he was a little horse!
Monica
Which animal is the shyest?
The one that feels the sheepiest
Tom
Why can you never play a trick on a snake?
Because you can’t pull its leg.
Rebecca
What’s below a pigs knees?
Its oinkels!

December 2020

Tyrone
Where do cats go on a school trip?
The MIAOW- seum
William
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wooden
Wooden who?
Wooden you like to know!
Amanda
Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
Hey, what are you so happy about?
Sanjay
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet (bare feet)
Tania
What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A head-banger
Chris
What kind of fight do sumo wrestles have under the sea?
A water fight!
Pranjal
Why was the doctor so angry?
Because he didn’t have any patients (patience)

December Xmas 2020

Christina
Who says’ Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh at Christmas time?
Santa! Walking backwards.
Nakita
Where does Santa find his reindeer?
It depends where he leaves them!
Carlton and Ralph
What kind of music does Santa’s elves like?
Wrap music
Venetia
How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
He has a black belt!
Leeze
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Hannah.
Hannah who?
(singing) Hannah partridge in a pear tree
Jazz
Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Ele-phanta Claus
Aroha
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ahhh… Wayne.
Ahhh…Wayne who?
(singing)Ahhh… WAYNE in a Manger… no-o crib for a bed…
Jemma
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one – after that it’s not empty any more!
Carter
How do elves get to the top floor of Santa’s workshop?
The use the ELFator
Tipene
What’s the best Christmas present of all?
A broken drum. Because you just can’t BEAT… a broken drum.
Emile
What do you call Santa’s Cat at the Beach?
SANDY claws!
Ollie
What can you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus
Jess
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has no ‘L’…
(singing) No-el, no-o-el…no-o el, no-el…
Rhaya
What song do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells
Alex
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santa-pplause!

Santa's Reindeer Quizl bait)

1. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the fastest?
Dasher.

2. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can be seen on Valentines day?
Cupid.

3. Which one of Santa’s reindeer can you see in outer space?
Comet.

4. Which one of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dan

5. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is the cheekiest?
Rude-olf

6. Which one of Santa’s reindeer likes Mediterranian food?
Donner (Doner Kebab)

7. Which one of Santa’s reindeer is not very good for snails, in NZ?
Blitzen (Blitzem sna

Write your answers down and type them into the form that open from here

November 2020

Oscar
What’s a spider’s favourite day?
FLY-day
Lauren
Why do monkeys carry bananas?
Because bananas can’t walk.
Hannah
What’s the fastest food in the world?
Scone
Lily
why did the boy go fishing on the moon?
He wanted to catch starfish!
Amanda
Knock, Knock,
Who’s there?
Ya,
Ya Who?
What are you so happy about?
Blake
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio-not, here I come!
Savannah
What do you call a wolf lying in the sun?
A Hotdog!
Kingston
There was this boy who told his sister he was making a car out of spaghetti. She
didn’t believe him… but you should have seen her face when he drove PASTA (past her)

Halloween Jokes

Prianka
What’s a ghost’s favourite desert?
I scream and boo berry pie
Gabrielle Stephenson
Waiter, waiter there’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Don’t worry sir that spider on your toast will soon get rid of it!
Clare
How do you tickle a skeleton? Tickle its funny bone.
Marco
Why didn’t the skeleton jump off the cliff? Because he did not have the guts to do it!
Sue and Mary
Why didn’t the ghost see a horror movie? He didn’t have the guts!
Ruth
What did the ghost have for supper? Spooketti
Sue and Mary
octor, Doctor there’s a ghost in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him!
Steve
What did the boy skeleton say to the girl skeleton?
“I love every bone in your body!”
Maxine and Millie
Who is the best dancer at a ghost’s party?
The boogie man!
Nathan Walls
Why were all the bones chasing each other? Because the skull wanted to get ahead!
Selina
What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or TWEET!
Aggie
What’s a ghost’s favourite food?
I SCREAM!
Cheyenne
Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had BAT breath

October 2020

Seb
What do you call a fairy that hasn’t had a bath for a week?
Stinker bell!
Olive
When should you buy a bird?
When they’re going cheep! (Cheap!)
Alex
What do turtles do on their birthday?
They SHELL-abrate!
Trevor
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he’d rather just stay at C! (Sea!)
Ryan
What is white and sits in a corner?
A naughty fridge.
What is big, red and sits in a corner?
A naughty bus!
Harley
How do BEES get to school?
On the school BUZZ!
Peggy
What do you call a wasp?
A wanna-bee!
Maneer
Why does everyone love kiwis
They’re cute and small and fuzzy!
Vinnie
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Arch
Arch who?
Bless you

September 2020

Xanthie
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Willim and Ali
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Danielle 
What’s the best thing to put in a pie?
Your teeth
Sanja 
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Danielson
What two letters of the alphabet can keep you from doing your homework?
T.V.
Rinnay
What do you get when an elephant sits on your friend?
A flat mate.
Laura
Why did Mr lettuce blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
Awhina
What kind of music scares balloons?
POP music!
Becca
When does a hippopotamus go “mooooo”?
When it is learning a new language!
Anahera
What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!
Milly
Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
Eli
Did you hear about the kid who went into the supermarket and asked for helicopter chips?
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
Evie
How do you start an insect race?
One. Two FLEA. Go!
Sheldon
What does a bird have for breakfast?
Tweet bix

August 2020

Trinity
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
The Mooooovies
Dimitri
If a seagull flies over the sea what flies over a bay?
A bagel.
Jaala
When is an apple not an apple?’
When it’s a PINE-apple
Jed
What’s a dog’s favourite pizza?
PUP-eroni!
Sanja
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Zoe
How does a Lemon ask for a hug?
Give us a squeeze!
Marcus
What happened when nana gave the grape a big squeeze
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
W…
What car does Yoda drive?
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
Rose
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Jamal
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!

July 2020

Claude
How much do pirates charge for piercing an ear?
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
Trevor
If you want to drive a locomotive what do you need to do…?
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Maia
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Enzo
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
Dex
On the first day back from holidays why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
Annon
What’s the difference between a tuna fish and a piano?
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
Ana and Kaia’s Limerick
Elephants sleep standing up.
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.

June 2020

Jaz
What do you call a rainbow with no colours?
A PLAIN-bow!
Bennie
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
He wanted to go to the mooooon
Aggie 
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
Millie
What do you get when you put a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake
Oscar
What’s a spider’s favourite day?
FLY-day
Holly
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
Nik
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I LAVA you.
Daisy
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!

April 2020

Marlon
How do bees get to school?
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
Danielle
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
Sophie 
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
Cora
Did you hear about the frog who was raised by bunnies?
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
Zoe
What do you call a place where the animals practice martial arts?
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
Toby
What do you call a bee that can’t make up his mind?
A may-beee.
Shaun
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Viv and Bianca
What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Emma and Daniel
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Tanika
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
Ramon
Did you hear about the guy stealing vegetables? It’s okay. The police caught him. They got him when he stopped to take a leek!

March 2020

Nate
What do winnie the Pooh and Bob the Builder have in common?
The same middle name!
Olive
On which day of the week does Tigger eat the most?
Chewsday
Arie 
What is a cat’s favourite exercise?
Puss-ups!
Charlie
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
Annalise
What happened to the frog’s car when he parked somewhere he shouldn’t?
The Frog’s car got toad
Petra
What happens if you tell a duck a joke?
They quack up.
Unknown
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
Trevor
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
Sarah
Did you hear about the frog with a broken leg?
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
Ralph
When it’s time to go swimming, how deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep

February 2020

Laurene

Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t “chicken”!

Massey

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cos another chicken was “egging” him on

Karl

What room doesn’t have any doors? I don’t know Trevor – what room doesn’t have any doors?
A mushroom!

Matthew

What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back!

Ebony

What should you do if someone stamps their foot?
Put an envelope on the floor so they can stamp that

January 2020

Nur

One tomato was walking through a field when all of a sudden she saw another tomato.

She asked the tomato “Have you seen the rainbow”.

The other tomato said “What??? A talking tomato, arrrrggghhh!”

Marshall
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
Ethan 
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Roshan
Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
Madison
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
Travis
What is green and has yellow wheels?
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Shanalise
Why did grandad say to run around the bed after so many late nights.
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep

December 2019

Pierre
Why don’t bananas snore?
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Paul
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
Hollie
What kind of key opens a banana?
A Mon-KEY!
Beau
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Lola
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear!
Ezra
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their butt-quacks!
Natasha Craig
What side of a chicken has the most feathers?
The outside!
Sophie Arnold
What pen is better to write with?
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Roman Phillips
What do you call a horse that lives nextdoor?
Your neigh-bour!
Lara Cadman
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!!
Bryan & Bobby
Why is a police officer the strongest person in the world?
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
Pablo Biesold-Jones
Where do you weigh a whale?
In a whale weigh station.
Briar Taylor
What rides at the amusement park do ghosts like best?
The rollerghoster
Cora Flynn
What do you get when you cross a unicycle with a cob of corn?
A unicorn
William Cahill
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a lemon?
A dino-sour
Samuel Cahill
What’s a Pirates’ favorite letter?
C (Sea)
Sophie Dornauf
Where do you go to brush your teeth?
Invergargle!
Joshua Groot
Why isnt the Cook Strait bumpy?
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Isabella Powell
What is a bunny’s favourite dance?
Hip hop
Leonie Ruben
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
Arnia de Winter
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Oscar & Mum
What did the hill say when it saw the lovely view?
Lookout!
Damian Love
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A WALK!!!
Cam Emmett
What did the cat say to the other cat?
You look the same as me, ow
Zach Murray
What do you call a computer on Mount Everest?
High tech
Molly C
Why was 6 afraid of 7
Because 789!
Elizabeth Terrey
What do you get when you cross a Vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests.
Vania Walsh
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)
Send in your joke :-)