Send us your favourite joke and see if you can make the zebra laugh even harder!
(Check that your joke isn’t on the page already – if it is, find another one to share)
September 2020
Xanthie
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Who’s there?
Ip
Ip who? (Ipoo!)
Willim and Ali
What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Are you ok? You’re looking a little flushed!
Danielle
What’s the best thing to put in a pie?
Your teeth
Your teeth
Sanja
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Bear feet
Danielson
What two letters of the alphabet can keep you from doing your homework?
T.V.
T.V.
Rinnay
What do you get when an elephant sits on your friend?
A flat mate.
A flat mate.
Laura
Why did Mr lettuce blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
Because he saw the salad dressing and Mr Green pea, over the fence.
Awhina
What kind of music scares balloons?
POP music!
POP music!
Becca
When does a hippopotamus go “mooooo”?
When it is learning a new language!
When it is learning a new language!
Anahera
What time is it when a hippo sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!
Time to get a new bed!
Milly
Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
She wanted to see the butter-fly!
Eli
Did you hear about the kid who went into the supermarket and asked for helicopter chips?
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
They didn’t have any – so he had to have PLAIN (plane) ones
Evie
How do you start an insect race?
One. Two FLEA. Go!
One. Two FLEA. Go!
Sheldon
What does a bird have for breakfast?
Tweet bix
Tweet bix
August 2020
Trinity
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
The Mooooovies
The Mooooovies
Dimitri
If a seagull flies over the sea what flies over a bay?
A bagel.
A bagel.
Jaala
When is an apple not an apple?’
When it’s a PINE-apple
When it’s a PINE-apple
Jed
What’s a dog’s favourite pizza?
PUP-eroni!
PUP-eroni!
Sanja
What type of feet do bears have?
Bear feet
Bear feet
Zoe
How does a Lemon ask for a hug?
Give us a squeeze!
Give us a squeeze!
Marcus
What happened when nana gave the grape a big squeeze
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
It let out a little wine – ohhhhhhh!
W…
What car does Yoda drive?
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
A Toy-yoda! (Toyota)
Rose
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Ten-tickles!
Jamal
Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him… sluggish!
July 2020
Claude
How much do pirates charge for piercing an ear?
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
A buccaneer! (A buck an ear!)
Trevor
If you want to drive a locomotive what do you need to do…?
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Lots and lots of TRAIN-ING
Maia
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Enzo
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
An irrelephant.
Elephant – Irrelevant – Irrelephant!
Dex
On the first day back from holidays why did the teacher have to wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!
Because her class was so bright!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
Because he couldn’t control his pupils!
Annon
What’s the difference between a tuna fish and a piano?
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
Ana and Kaia’s Limerick
Elephants sleep standing up.
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.
And can’t really drink from a cup.
They like to have baths.
But are no good at maths.
And eat from sun down to sun up.
June 2020
Jaz
What do you call a rainbow with no colours?
A PLAIN-bow!
A PLAIN-bow!
Bennie
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
He wanted to go to the mooooon
He wanted to go to the mooooon
Aggie
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese
Nacho cheese
Millie
What do you get when you put a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake
A milkshake
Oscar
What’s a spider’s favourite day?
FLY-day
FLY-day
Holly
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
Ba-na-na-naaa! Ba-na-na-naa! Ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-na-ba-na-na-naaa!
Nik
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I LAVA you.
I LAVA you.
Daisy
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!
Who’s there?
Waa-waa.
Waa-waa-who?
You don’t need to cry about it. It’s only a joke!
April 2020
Marlon
How do bees get to school?
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
They take the school BUZZ! (bus)
Danielle
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go toot-toot. Brrmm-brrmm.
Sophie
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
A mon-key!
Cora
Did you hear about the frog who was raised by bunnies?
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
Other frogs say ribbit, ribbit – he can only say “Rabbit, Rabbit“
Zoe
What do you call a place where the animals practice martial arts?
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
A Jui jit-zoo (Juijitsu)
Toby
What do you call a bee that can’t make up his mind?
A may-beee.
A may-beee.
Shaun
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for reduce, reuse and recycle!
Viv and Bianca
What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Sleep late! The early bird always catches the worm
Emma and Daniel
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Hey sweetheart, I love you a ton!
Tanika
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice wqho?
Can-diss door open, or am I stuck outside?
Ramon
Did you hear about the guy stealing vegetables? It’s okay. The police caught him. They got him when he stopped to take a leek!
March 2020
Nate
What do winnie the Pooh and Bob the Builder have in common?
The same middle name!
The same middle name!
Olive
On which day of the week does Tigger eat the most?
Chewsday
Chewsday
Arie
What is a cat’s favourite exercise?
Puss-ups!
Puss-ups!
Charlie
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
Who’s there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No they don’t, cows-go moo.
Annalise
What happened to the frog’s car when he parked somewhere he shouldn’t?
The Frog’s car got toad
The Frog’s car got toad
Petra
What happens if you tell a duck a joke?
They quack up.
They quack up.
Unknown
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
Who’s there?
Icy
Icy who?
Icy you! (I see you!)
Trevor
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
They eat whatever bugs them!
Sarah
Did you hear about the frog with a broken leg?
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
No! how was he?
Oh, poor wee frog, he was very un-hoppy
Ralph
When it’s time to go swimming, how deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep
Knee-deep Knee-deep
February 2020
Laurene
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t “chicken”!
Massey
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cos another chicken was “egging” him on
Karl
What room doesn’t have any doors? I don’t know Trevor – what room doesn’t have any doors?
A mushroom!
Matthew
What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
Roll them back!
Ebony
What should you do if someone stamps their foot?
Put an envelope on the floor so they can stamp that
January 2020
Nur
One tomato was walking through a field when all of a sudden she saw another tomato.
She asked the tomato “Have you seen the rainbow”.
The other tomato said “What??? A talking tomato, arrrrggghhh!”
Marshall
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
Bison! Get it Bye Son.
Ethan
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
An impasta!
Roshan
Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
At the hickory dickory dock.
Madison
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
So they can fight knights!
Travis
What is green and has yellow wheels?
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Grass…..I lied about the wheels!
Shanalise
Why did grandad say to run around the bed after so many late nights.
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep
So the grandchild could catch up with her sleep
December 2019
Pierre
Why don’t bananas snore?
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Because they don’t want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Paul
What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
Ba-na-na-naa. Ba-ba-na-na-naaa.
Hollie
What kind of key opens a banana?
A Mon-KEY!
A Mon-KEY!
Beau
Why couldn’t the pony sing?
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Because he was a little hoarse. (horse)
Lola
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear!
Thunderwear!
Ezra
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their butt-quacks!
To cover their butt-quacks!
Natasha Craig
What side of a chicken has the most feathers?
The outside!
The outside!
Sophie Arnold
What pen is better to write with?
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Neither, you’re better of writing with a pen or a pencil
Roman Phillips
What do you call a horse that lives nextdoor?
Your neigh-bour!
Your neigh-bour!
Lara Cadman
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!!
A stick!!
Bryan & Bobby
Why is a police officer the strongest person in the world?
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
Because he can hold up a 10 ton truck with one hand
Pablo Biesold-Jones
Where do you weigh a whale?
In a whale weigh station.
In a whale weigh station.
Briar Taylor
What rides at the amusement park do ghosts like best?
The rollerghoster
The rollerghoster
Cora Flynn
What do you get when you cross a unicycle with a cob of corn?
A unicorn
A unicorn
William Cahill
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a lemon?
A dino-sour
A dino-sour
Samuel Cahill
What’s a Pirates’ favorite letter?
C (Sea)
C (Sea)
Sophie Dornauf
Where do you go to brush your teeth?
Invergargle!
Invergargle!
Joshua Groot
Why isnt the Cook Strait bumpy?
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Because it’s Cook STRAIT.
Isabella Powell
What is a bunny’s favourite dance?
Hip hop
Hip hop
Leonie Ruben
What did the policeman say to his tummy?
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
You’re under a vest. Freeze!
Arnia de Winter
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Because she’ll Let It Go.
Oscar & Mum
What did the hill say when it saw the lovely view?
Lookout!
Lookout!
Damian Love
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A WALK!!!
A WALK!!!
Cam Emmett
What did the cat say to the other cat?
You look the same as me, ow
You look the same as me, ow
Zach Murray
What do you call a computer on Mount Everest?
High tech
High tech
Molly C
Why was 6 afraid of 7
Because 789!
Because 789!
Elizabeth Terrey
What do you get when you cross a Vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests.
Lots of blood tests.
Vania Walsh
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)
Aye matey! (I’m 80!)